For context and education to the misinformed:
The definitions of Racism & Colorism
|“Racism a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.”
|“Colorism is prejudice or discrimination especially within a racial or ethnic group favoring people with lighter skin over those with darker skin.”
My mother found out she was pregnant with me when my biological father went to jail and was later sentenced to over 15 years in prison. Family members and friends told her to abort me. Some over the situation she was left in and some for the fact that a mixed baby would only suffer in the world. That’s where it started.
When I was a baby my mother was at a border crossing in New Mexico. She was pulled to the side and questioned on documentation to prove she was my mother. I couldn’t have possibly been hers since I was black. That’s the product of Racism.
When I was a toddler my mother was commended by a stranger in the store “for giving that little black girl a shot at a good life”. That’s the product of Racism.
When I started Pre-K and well into my early education people assumed I was adopted and/or I would clarify that my mom really was my biological mom. It became a running joke that I eventually adopted early on and would address almost immediately upon meeting new people with my mother. That’s the product of Racism.
When I was in 4th grade and the discussion of slavery in our history segment came about my teacher used me as an example to explain to the class that I would have been a slave during that time while one of my peers would not have been. That’s the product of Racism.
Throughout my childhood I was told how my skin tone “was just right” or “a perfect glow” and how I was lucky that my hair texture was nice thanks to my moms side. That’s the product of Colorism and Racism.
My first week of college I was told by a fellow peer who was also black that I was not black enough to participate in a open conversation I chimed in on. I was told “you don’t understand though, you’re light skinned”. That’s the product of Colorism.
As a young new mother I’ve been asked “What is she?”, in reference to my daughter’s appearance with a follow up of “how lucky she is to have a good mix” by many strangers. I am 100% confident I’ll go through the same with my second. That’s the product of Colorism and Racism.
I could keep going but the point is that I should not have to defend myself on why I say Black Lives Matter. I was raised by my mother’s side of my family and had a good upbringing for the most part. I grew up in a small rural town that only had a handful of black people in it when I was young. I still live in the same town and am glad to see the diversification that has happened over the past decade in our community. I grew up pursuing the ‘American Dream’ like many of us do.
That does not mean that I did not have my fair share of racist encounters growing up and as an adult. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t felt the awkwardness, frustration, and divide that Colorism has placed on my interactions with others. I didn’t realize all of it or understand it until I was older. Some people may not have meant it and some people definitely did.
So do not mistake my standing for the Black Lives Matter movement as me saying that all other lives do not matter. That would completely disregard the other half of who I am. That would leave out the diverse family that I’ve married into. I’m simply bringing the attention the current issue that has been at hand for quite some time. The Black race is truly suffering in this day and age. We are not treated equal. Police brutality being a common trend, we are killed for things that a white person can do without second thought.
We are targeted and discriminated on sight for our skin tone. Something we cannot change not should we try to hide. That is why racism still lives and breathes well in this country. The people who “do not see color” may feel enlightened but there are others out there who are still blind and do not want to be healed. That is why people of all races and walks of life should be speaking up. The silence and standing by needs to stop. The love and justice need to be found.
During my early years I suppressed my ethnicity. I didn’t feel like I could or should identify as being black. It was when I started educating myself that I eventually embraced who I am. But now I am thankful. I am thankful that my mother and grandparents who raised me never saw me as white, black, or mixed. They saw me as Emily. They talked me through the comments and different treatment I would get while reminding me that other people’s ignorance wasn’t my problem. They supported me when I faced new issues as a teenager into young adulthood. They now support me and my growing family in hopes that we can erase the same experiences from ever having to be a part of my daughter’s history. Equality for my daughters, my family, my friends, and the strangers I do not know who have felt the struggle are why I will continue to unapologetically stand for the Black Lives Matter movement.
Image by: Oladimeji Odunsi
Definitions easily found on: