Having a baby is something that I don’t think I can fully express in terms of the emotions and overflow of happiness that you experience; from the start of pregnancy to the moment you hear your baby cry for the first time. It’s something that has truly changed me for the better. My first birth was nothing like I envisioned yet I still delivered a happy and healthy babygirl. This second time around I had the same result but in a very different way. This isn’t just a birth story though. This is a story of a what felt like the impossible finally coming to full fruition and a realization that doing what others say you can’t (including your own fearful doubts) being one of the most rewarding things in this universe.
Going into this pregnancy I knew what doctor I wanted and what type of delivery I planned on having. Some know this as a VBAC or TOLAC. A VBAC being a vaginal birth after cesarean while a TOLAC translates to a trial of labor after cesarean. Both terms meaning that you deliver vaginally after having a c-section versus going back for a repeat cesarean which is very common. VBACs are almost a taboo idea in the medical field from what I gather. Only a handful of doctors and hospitals will deliver women who choose this route. I even remember the doctor that delivered my first born coming around the curtain after he had finished delivering her telling me that I would have to have another c-section. Little did he know I was not going to take that for an answer so easily.
My doctor for this pregnancy was amazing. We had a consultation with him when my first daughter was 9 months old. We were thinking about trying for baby number two so we figured talking about our options first was the best plan of attack. I explained my first birth experience to him and worried that he would give me the same news for a repeat c-section. But as soon as I finished giving him the labor details he said, “Oh no you should have no problem having a VBAC your second time around.” And that is what sold my husband and I. Fast forward a little over a year later and we were calling his office scheduling an appointment to confirm our second pregnancy!
I had so many questions going into this pregnancy that I had felt silly asking during my first pregnancy. Our doctor answered all of them without hesitation and was one of the most personable medical professionals I’ve ever been seen by. I think the most outstanding thing he ever said to me during my pregnancy was in reply to my question of what I should do to best prepare for my attempt at a VBAC. “Just be confident. Don’t overthink it!” I waited for the other shoe to drop. You know, something to the effect of "...exercise X amount of times per day..." or "...eat a specified diet and watch your weight..." The other shoe never dropped and it felt like each visit was just a wellness check for me and the baby with a peppy smile to send me on my way.
It wasn't until 36 weeks that we started discussing the game plan. My doctor set our induction date for my 40 week mark/due date in case babygirl decided to stay put. He also decided that we would use a foley balloon to start my dilation two days prior to my induction date. This was to ensure I had a better start for labor. Even though I knew it was a possibility I still wished for the magical moment where my water broke and my hubby rushed us to the hospital. That moment was just wishful thinking.
July 31st at 9:00 AM I went in for my foley ballon. I dreaded the thought of the procedure since every article I Googled reiterated how painful the whole ordeal would be. Let's just say I probably could walk anyone through the procedure with all the research I did! Thankfully, the procedure itself didn't hurt but it sure did get things started. About an hour after it was placed I started feeling pressure and contractions. It still didn't feel like it was time to go to the hospital so we waited it out at home which was one of the perks to this method of dilation assistance. By 5:30 PM the balloon had done it’s job and fallen out while my contractions had subsided. It started to settle in that in less than 48 hours we would have a second baby so I did what any momma would do. I spent the next day cuddling my toddler and watching movies with my little family.
I had felt like I was having some leaking which was a sign that we would need to go into Labor and Delivery at our hospital. After watching the Notebook and crying my eyes out I decided to call the hospital to see if they thought we should come in. It was now August 1st around 5:00 PM. The nurse that answered said we should come in even when I told her my induction was scheduled for the next day at 8:00 AM. After dropping our toddler off to my amazing sister and brother-in-law we headed in to the hospital. Three hours later we were being admitted since my contractions were consistent and had spontaneously started. It was officially go time!
Once we were admitted the clock started and it was only a matter of when baby Leona would make her entrance. My contractions weren’t painful and didn’t even phase me so we decided to order food. I was epidural free and felt confident that I wouldn’t need one if things kept going as they were. After finding the only pizza place still open at 10:30 at night for delivery, my husband and I feasted on my favorite kind of pizza, boneless wings, and some Cajun fries. Our feast quickly transitioned into active aka “painful labor” and I started to feel what I forgot we’re real contractions. By the time 1:00 AM came around I was asking for the epidural I so badly tried to avoid. I decided enough was enough and that I would take the good ol’ needle in the back for some form of relief.
I remember our lovely nurse monitoring my contractions when I first asked for it and checking me only to tell me I wasn’t dilated beyond 4 centimeters and that I should try to wait a little more. She even said my contractions weren’t that bad yet. In my head I just kept thinking how it felt pretty bad already! A half hour later I was calling her back because I didn’t want to be one of those women that screams and scares the rest of the women in labor. She quickly called the anesthesiologist and replaced the monitor for my contractions. They were showing up stronger than the monitor before, not sure why but she knew by the patterns on the monitor and the tone in my voice that I needed the juice. Just a little bit later I got my epidural and I finally felt like I could get some sleep. The nurse had checked me after I got the epidural and confirmed I was finally at 6 centimeters. She was so encouraging and told us “This is when there isn’t much going back, it seems like you’ll get your VBAC!” Those words were absolute music to my ears.
I was able to get some rest on and off throughout the rest of the early morning. Around 5:00 AM now on August 2nd, I started to feel a little restless and waited for my doctor to arrive with an update on how things were going to go next. I should mention that my doctor had warned us he’d be out of town the day before our induction. Around that same time our nurse told us that he wasn’t going to make it. She even mentioned that this was odd for him since he delivers all of his patients but she said she would try calling him again. By 7:30 AM I started to feel pressure and when I was checked I was at 9 centimeters. My water still hadn’t broken so the doctor on call decided to break it. By 8:30 I was calling the nurse in because I felt the feeling all women who have delivered talk about! I remember looking over at my husband and telling him I felt like I had to poop, TMI but it’s true! We knew it just meant we were closer to having our baby.
A small amount of cervix was still over the baby’s head so the nurse helped and told me to push while she tried to help me get to a full 10 centimeters. I don’t know what she did but I just remember her monitoring my contractions and on the next one her telling me “Go ahead and push Momma!”. At that point it was just my husband and the nurse in the dimmed room. I remember wondering how I would push since I had never gotten to do it with my first. Not to mention I was numb from the epidural with limited motion. I closed my eyes and tried to envision my daughter coming into the world peacefully. I focused on my husband cheering me on while the nurse counted and told me when to breathe. After a second set of pushes she told us she would get the doctor on shift. While she got the doctor I just remember looking over to see my husband smiling and saying “She’s right there!” He could already see her hair and seemed calm yet excited. It only helped to level the anxiety I was feeling. Was this really happening? I couldn’t believe this moment I had long awaited was here already. I was going to get my VBAC. I put on my mask as I was previously asked to do when the doctor came in and just remembered that soon my second and last babygirl would be in my arms.
The doctor came in and the rest went by very quickly. The dimmed lights were brightened and a team of nurses surrounded the doctor as I started to push. Halfway through my second set of pushes with the doctor present a nurse pulled my mask off and gave me an oxygen mask. I remember opening my eyes and feeling like time was at a stand still. But seconds later I was told to take a deep breathe and push again. The cheering on from the nurse through her counts were just as encouraging as my husband holding my head and telling me “You got this babe, she’s almost here!” A few minutes later I was told to give small pushes and at 9:12 AM Leona was born into the world. She was quickly placed on my chest which was a feeling I had always dreamed of. There was no pain, no worry, but just love filling my heart. She was and is perfect.
The next hours were intimate and joyful. It was just my husband and I soaking up our new little one. After about two hours I was able to get up and walk. I did have some bleeding and passed some large clots that caused concern for a moment but after a visit from the doctor and some medicine it was managed. Our oldest got to see her sister over FaceTime but didn’t fully grasp that this new baby was her sister. We were able to leave the hospital the next day which felt amazing! I was so used to the c-section experience that this felt completely different. Walking out of the hospital left me feeling empowered and triumphant even though the nurse who called me about thirty minutes later told me someone should have walked us out. Oops!
Being home so soon and seeing my daughter meet her sister for the first time reaffirmed what I envisioned when this pregnancy journey started. My family is complete and our hearts are so full. I can see this family getting closer with each passing day. I get the pleasure of seeing my daughter show genuine and spontaneous love to her little sister. Most importantly, we are flourishing. We are healthy and happy even during this pandemic. I could not have asked for a better birth, a better adjustment period, and a better support system. Our little family of four is finally complete.