I find that my little familia is in an emotional state of change that we haven’t quite figured out. But, the good news is, we are starting to accept it as the norm now. We are starting to make room for the arrival of our last small family member with only 10 weeks to go! Although that seems like plenty of time it sure does go by quickly.
In approximately 5-6 weeks I’ll be going on my maternity leave. Working virtually makes that time seem like forever some days. Other days I remember that I’ve been at this virtual thing for over 2 months now. After that the 4 weeks left to prepare for our sweet Leona will be over before we know it.
Physically - I’m definitely ready to stop feeling like a walking blimp, but I know that I’ll miss the spontaneous movements. I am grateful to have had one last opportunity to carry a healthy child.
Emotionally - I think we’re all ready to start to share our love with another tiny person. I’ve wondered how I would balance and express my love but something tells me it will all come naturally.
Environmentally - We have all that we need to take care of a toddler and baby as we were able to purchase everything on our registry ourselves. I am so blessed to be in a place where we were able to do that.
The concerns that came to mind when we got to the halfway mark of this pregnancy were:
-How will Layla react to having a baby in the home 24/7?
-What will our new routine look like?
-What challenges can we anticipate and prepare for?
-What will this labor and delivery experience be like?
The thing is, nobody knows. We won’t know until we experience and live through it. We can throw around theoretical ideas all day long but none of it is known for sure. I’ve accepted that. I feel that that has prepared me to make the room in my mind, heart, and soul that is necessary for this next chapter. I’ve opened my mind up to the idea that we won’t figure it out in the first week. I’ve let it settle in my heart that I will always have enough room to let my husband and girls know just how much I love them. And last, but not least, I’ve welcomed the upcoming change in my soul which has made me more confident in our abilities as a family. I have finally found solitude during times of uncertainty that we will always be okay as long as we are together.
“Sometimes, the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” —Winnie the Pooh