As of tomorrow I will be 29 weeks and I am feeling the third trimester bump to it’s full on glory! I’m also reminiscing on how it felt to be at this point during my first pregnancy and this time definitely feels different. The differences range from my own physical state, environment, and more. Not to mention I’m in a completely new head space that I wasn’t in the first time.
When I was pregnant with Layla I started packing on the weight during my third trimester and silly as it sounds now, that was very concerning for me. Overall I gained 50 pounds exactly with Layla. I didn’t know how long it would take to shed the weight but I do remember feeling uncomfortable when I had to dress my growing body at the end. It didn’t help that my doctor at the time really shamed me for it while my current doctor feels it’s completely normal and nothing to worry about. Things didn’t fit and I would often cry before every outing as I had to change outfits multiple times. Let’s not forget that I didn’t buy any maternity clothing aside from a few pairs of maternity shorts. I usually resorted to some hand me down dresses one of my managers had given me from her pregnancy. I also felt insecure in my skin as my thighs, legs, and sides started flaring up with stretch marks. I honestly felt like Tony the Tiger and it was NOT great!
Fast forward to this pregnancy and I feel great! I bought maternity wear early on in this pregnancy (all on sale of course) and I’ve learned that stretch marks are going to happen no matter how much you lather your body up with creams and serums. I frankly don’t care anymore. I’ve gained 30 pounds with this pregnancy so far and baby girl is measuring large. My body has changed to create life and has grown in ways that will never allow me to be the size I was when I met my husband. Ladies, please remember that when you start to tear yourself down after stepping on a scale or having to let go of that favorite pair of jeans from four years ago. Your body is constantly changing and there is nothing wrong with that. Love your changes so you can focus on the other beautiful parts of life confidently in your own skin.
The other big difference in this pregnancy has been my home environment physically and mentally. Our home has come together a lot of the past 6 months and I am happy that we enjoy the sanctuary of our own home. We enjoy good company in this home and do not welcome in judgment or negative energy. Our every day routines are filled with laughter, love, and purpose where as before it felt like we were just pushing to get by. I’ve finally learned that I am in full control of my own emotions and what I choose to have impact on them. With Layla I hadn’t figured that out yet. Someone in my life that I really look up to said that family is important but your own little family that you create comes first. I never understood it until I had Layla and I realized it was my husband, my daughter, and I. The only difference now is that we will have one more small soul joining our journey.
The closer I get to approaching the end of this beautiful pregnancy I’ve found that I am beyond grateful for the place that I’m in now. I don’t feel like I need to apologize anymore for the decisions that I’ve made or plan on making for my family. I don’t feel pressured into doing things that don’t bring me joy or positivity. But most importantly I feel empowered to take on the inevitable chaos. I know that my toddler will be as helpful as she can be but I will also encourage her to focus on being a kid. My husband will rise to the occasion as he did with our first child and this baby will thrive in an environment of love. There is something truly monumental in accepting a life change and taking it on whole heartedly with the ones you love most. That is all that I need in mind as I prepare for the delivery of our last family member. So bring it on third trimester!