Sunday December 17th was the start to the official countdown to meeting our baby girl. We had just had a visit from a few friends and I was anxiously waiting on some action from the great womb. I had tried pineapple, red raspberry tea, and the good old baby dance that got us here in the first place and none of the attempts worked. So now I was literally waiting for her to make her move and I guess she finally got tired of keeping us waiting. After our friends left it started getting later in the evening and Netflix was still going strong and the couch cuddles were comforting. It was around 5:30 pm and I started feeling some contractions which I was sure were Braxton Hicks at first. A little while later I got another one…and shortly after a stronger one. I looked at Jonathan and before I could even say anything he asked me “Do we need to go to the hospital?” I told him it probably wasn’t it and that I was fine.
After a few more and one of the strongest ones making me stop everything I was doing I told Jonathan we needed to go. We had just had a false alarm about a week before so we were pretty calm and collected heading to the hospital. By 6:30 pm we were en route to the hospital and letting family know we were heading out just in case. I put on my labor playlist which was a combination of all of my favorites, including Bob Marley and DMX, trying to stay calm. The pain was manageable but it was consistent so it felt like we would be welcoming Layla sooner than we thought. We got to the hospital and checked in with triage. The nurse checked me and I was only 1 cm dialated. They hooked me up and had me relax for a while and then had me walk around for an hour to see if I would progress. After an hour of walking around and laughing from the shenanigans that my dear husband kept me entertained with we still had no progress. The doctor said it would just take some time and that they couldn’t keep me because the contractions weren’t close enough.
It was pretty disappointing but this wasn’t the first time we were told it wasn’t the real deal so it wasn’t too bad until we got back in the car and were headed back home. The contractions were getting stronger and closer and even though it was worse than before I asked Jonathan to keep heading home. I started timing the contractions again and they were getting closer together. By the time we got home they were five minutes apart. We got home around 11:40 pm and I just wanted to lay down and try to sleep. Little did I know I would be up for the rest of the night having more painful contractions that fluctuated from 4-7 minutes apart. I had my 40 week appointment with my actual doctor the next morning and was looking forward to seeing what he would say. The contractions were still continuing so I decided to call my doctor before we got to the appointment to see whether or not he would advise me to just head to labor and delivery.
When I called and spoke to the OB triage nurse she advised me to go to the hospital rather than my appointment so that’s exactly what we did. When we walked in it was like the whole staff was waiting for us because as soon as the doors opened the nurses huddled at the front desk were cheery and excited to take me in. The nurse that started to admit us took us directly to a delivery suite and said even if we weren’t progressed they would keep me. They had no patients and as many of them put it it was our lucky day. They had me undress and get settled, they had received a call from my doctor and knew to expect me for admission and knew about my visit from the night before. When the nurse checked me I was only 1 1/2 centimeters but she still assured me it would be okay and that we would have a baby by the end of the day. It was about 9:30 am when all of this was happening.
Once we got settled we started to text friends and family who had requested to be informed when we were going to be admitted. It was all short lived though when the head nurse came in with a reluctant look on her face. She said that the doctor had told them to release me after hearing how far dilated I was. He said I needed to wait and the nurses advised me to “go home and do some homework” to help kick start progress. All of the friendly nurses apologized as we were heading out. They even tried to convince the doctor on duty to persuade my actual OB but it sounded like it wouldn’t change anything. So there we were, stuck at square one again! My contractions were still continuing and all I could feel was more defeat and frustration. I started crying before we could even get back to the car because I knew the contractions would continue but I felt like progress would never happen and I wasn’t sure what that would mean for delivering our baby girl.
When we got to the car my mother-in-law Cecy had just arrived at the hospital. Jonathan explained what happened and we decided to go and get breakfast together. We picked her up not too far from the front entrance and left her car there. Jonathan had tried to console me and I attempted to put on a brave face even though I was extremely let down. I remember staying quiet for a while but when it came up that we should walk around the mall nearby to try and help I felt like there might be some hope. We ate and then headed towards the mall stopping at Burlington first for some holiday shopping and walking for a while. Afterwards we went to the Galleria Mall where we walked around for a few more hours. I had called the doctor’s office to get advice about what we should do since the contractions were still going. The nurse suggested to walk faster and keep at it for an hour or two more.
I remember walking ahead of both Jonathan and Cecy trying to get a good but comfortable speed. We lapped the area a few times and I would stop every now and then to go through a contraction as they got stronger and closer. It was a very simple routine; I would walk briskly and stop to either hold onto the rail nearby or hold onto my hubby. After a while we sat down to eat again but shortly realized the contractions were getting closer together and were once again more constant. We finally all agreed we should go to the hospital one last time. Around 5:20 pm we made our way back to the hospital and arrived around 5:45 pm. On the way over I had called the hospital to see whether or not they thought it would be worth the trip. A nurse that had been there that morning remembered me and said they wouldn’t mind seeing me to make sure.
Once we got there we went straight to triage and as soon as I got settled in the bed the doctor from the morning came in with the nurse to check my progress. After what I would call some fishing around and a lot of discomfort he said the words I had been waiting to hear…”I’ve got three centimeters!” I was so excited and the process finally started. The nurse and other staff started processing paperwork and getting everything prepped. They took some blood and got me and Jonathan equipped with hospital bracelets and took us to our delivery suite right at the very end of the hall. When we got to the suite Cecy joined us. We were finally able to tell everyone that it was the real thing this time!
My bestfriend/sister from another mister Sarah was the first of our friends to arrive and kept me going with some cheesy yet funny jokes. Between contractions we all talked and had a few laughs. A little while later our other bestfriends Nathan and Miranda came and then Sarah’s parents stopped by. At that point my water had already been broken and the contractions were intensifying. I felt like I could still manage the pain of the contractions but after a while I decided that the epidural which I had strong reservations about might be a good choice. After talking to Jonathan I decided I wanted it so that I could rest and try to enjoy the experience a little bit more. The nurse asked everyone to leave the room so that the anesthesiologist could come in and give me the juice. Everyone left and I knew what the drill would be. I sat up and was instructed to hang my legs off of the side of the bed and relax. The contractions were still happening but I could breathe through it with my wonderful hubby’s support. My water which had only trickled before started to gush as soon as I sat up. Out of embarrassment I apologized. Everyone laughed because they all knew it was involuntary and completely normal but to me it was only normal to apologize when I leaked fluid all over the place.
When I got the epidural I could feel the needle sting and the catheter being piped into my spine. All of the sensations that the anesthesiologist said would occur did but it was tolerable and nice once the medicine started to work. They propped me up at a 90 degree angle and invited everyone back in. Needless to say I was feeling no pain and was actually able to enjoy some interaction once my legs started numbing. After a while everyone left and Jonathan and Cecy went to get some food. I was able to relax for a while but had to have further monitoring for contractions which meant some unknown medical device and wire had to be placed in the one area I didn’t want it to go. They never tell you that despite the trauma you undergo when having a baby you will have to be poked and prodded in ways you never imagined. At that point I had a catheter, another device monitoring contractions from within, and no feeling from the waist down. I would lay on whichever side the nurse would tell me to and switch from time to time.
After being checked a few times it was evident that I was not making progress. Hours had gone by and the mood was definitely not as exciting as it had been in the first few hours. The progress I did make was slow and sometime after midnight I felt my contractions coming back. I tried pushing the button for the machine that administered the good ol’ juice but it didn’t seem to work. Jonathan and Cecy were very attentive and supportive but the pain wasn’t going away and just came back much stronger than before. We called the nurse and at first the anesthesiologist came in and pumped a large dose into the IV for my epidural. After about thirty minutes and more pain it was clear that it wasn’t working still and the nurse rolled me on my side quickly saying, “Well that’s not good.” She informed us that my epidural had come out and that was the reason for the pain coming back. She called the anesthesiologist back and let him know what happened which meant they would have to repeat the epidural.
I was in no shape to argue or even be angry about the epidural falling out which sounded like it was from lack of tape being placed around it. I had to sit up again which was much harder with my legs completely numb and more pain than before. Jonathan supported me once more and the nurse reminded me to breathe as I tried to hold still for another insertion of the epidural. Let me first just say do not ever go into labor refusing to consider getting an epidural. I have what I would consider a high pain tolerance and my husband can back me up on it but I am glad that I was open to getting one even though I had wanted to refrain from it altogether. It can really offer relief so that you can relax and rest emotionally but also physically. The time that I could feel the more intense contractions caused stress on my body and gave me the sensation that I needed to push. When I told the nurse she checked me and said I was only 5 centimeters and that I couldn’t push yet. The feeling was so overwhelming that my stomach actually started contracting on its own and I couldn’t help it. Once the second epidural was in place and working again I could take it easy but I still felt like I needed to push.
The nurse came in periodically and kept moving me. She put my legs in stirrups on each side for a while and then went to get what she called a peanut. It was like an elongated yoga ball that she put my legs on top of to help with dilation. I had only gotten to 6 centimeters and my cervix was swollen and distressed from the contractions coming back and the stress I felt when the epidural had fallen out. Because of the overall circumstances of my labor progression my doctor directed my nurse to prep me for a C-section at 6:00 am due to lack of progress. When she broke the news to us my husband was asleep and Cecy came right to my side to comfort me. No one ever really wants to deal with the reality of having to have a C-section when the goal is to deliver vaginally but I was more than willing to do what was best for the baby’s health. The nurse and Cecy woke Jonathan up with scrubs for surgery and a quick explanation of what was going on. A while later the doctor came in and checked in with us and assured us we would be holding a baby in no time. Just moments later we were all set to go and I was being wheeled into the butcher room…okay I’m being dramatic but hey getting cut open wasn’t my favorite idea.
When we got in the operating room the nurses transferred my numb and limp body onto the table. The only thing I had control of was the little movements I could make with my head. The room was so bright and everything looked like something right out of Grey’s Anatomy only there wasn’t any drama amongst the staff going on that I knew of. Jonathan waited while they got the room ready and I just laid there while drapes were put up and medicine was being pumped into my body. I remember thinking about how it might feel. Everyone always talks about the pressure and how intense it can be to emotionally prepare for what you know is happening beyond the curtain. As quiet as I was waiting for the big procedure to happen I was screaming on the inside. There are no timeouts or “No wait I’m not ready!” it’s just go time and everyone simply does their job.
I took a moment to think about all the things that could go wrong and all the things that could go right and decided that either way I would be okay as long as she was okay at the end of it all. Once we were set to go they let Jonathan in and he held my hand. I started to feel the pressure and tugging but no pain. The anesthesiologist had directed me to speak up if I could feel any pain and at one point I felt a sharp pain on the top of my pubic bone and I let him know. He nonchalantly said “Okay let me fix that.” and pumped some more medication into my IV. Just seconds later I heard the words “And the baby is born.” There was a brief moment of silence which at the time felt like forever but afterwards I heard the most precious sound in the world. A cry followed by a sigh of relief just filled my ears. I remember saying something like “Awwww!” The doctor asked Jonathan if he wanted to take a picture which prompted him to slowly raise his hesitant hands with my phone over the curtain for Layla’s first picture.
She got cleaned up and Jonathan got to cut her cord. All of that seems like a blur since I was still undergoing surgery. I could feel more tugging and pressure and meanwhile I got to lay eyes on the most perfect baby I’ve ever laid eyes on right next to me. The nurse gave us a few moments and adjusted her so that I could kiss her and feel her cheek on mine. The feeling you get in your heart is indescribable. They took her back to the suite I had labored in and did all of the routine care they needed to and Jonathan followed. I was getting out back together again like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz and all I could think was how much longer they would take to sew me up. The doctor peeked around the curtain when they were done with his gloves full of blood and gave me a recap. The baby wasn’t”sunny-side up” which would have called for a c-section or an extremely painful vaginal delivery so it was the right call for surgery. He said I did good and that the baby was completely healthy.
When I got back to the room I could see her under the warmer and Jonathan and Cecy right by her side. She was brought to me as soon as I got settled and we got to do skin-to-skin. She was laid completely naked except for her cute little beanie onto my bare chest and it all felt so natural. She started looking for milk and quickly found her way but didn’t eat. She just laid there so the nurse helped her to try and latch for a little bit. Once she did it was touch and go. I started to feel drained and remember feeling drowsy. Even though I stayed awake it all just kind of blended together. My mom came about 40 minutes later and got to meet her first grandchild. Later on we were transferred to another room across the way and we were able to have more visitors. My brother-in-law Adrian and my sister-in-law Bobbie came to meet their goddaughter. A little while later my best friend Sarah came. We had more visitors later that evening and the next days to follow along with many new experiences adjusting to our little one.
The entire experience went nothing like I ever envisioned but was something I wouldn’t change for the world. I got to feel all of the pains of labor in my own unique experience and I was able to feel the most fulfilled that I ever have. Layla Jasmine Luna was born on Tuesday morning December 19th on her due date. She arrived at 7:00 am on the dot weighing 7 pounds and 13 ounces measuring 20 centimeters long. After 40 weeks and 36 hours the new love of my life is finally here.
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